July 5th, 2008

Pronwear Update (and can we talk about nipples for a second?)

Posted by kush in Design Mention, Pronwear Updates

We’re moving right along, ladies and gentlemen.  If you look around (that means lay down the pipe and open your fucking eyes), you’ll notice a few additions to the website.  First of all, we have some brand spanking new designs at the top of the homepage.   We banged out some internet humor for you technologically advanced types, and we also rolled out something to piss off even more people than we already have.   Fucking right.

More importantly (well, more important to you anyway) you now have two new ways to get free shit from us.  We’re that giving…because we care.  If you buy three shirts at a time, you’ll get another one of your choice for free.  “But Kush”, you exclaim, “I don’t have the money or the ability to commit to four choices at once!”.  Alright you poor and/or lazy bastard, we’ve made it even easier for you.  Buy ONE shirt, take a picture of yourself in it (preferably something funny, offensive or amusing - if we fall asleep looking at these pictures then we can’t ship out shirts to ANYONE, so make them fucking interesting, people), and send it to us.  If you already have a Pronwear shirt, your job is even easier.  Either way, you’ll be forever immortalized on Pronwear.com (and in our hearts), and you’ll get free shit.  How can you say no to a deal like that.

Moving on…

We now have almost 300 friends on Myspace, and good lawdy some of you females are smokin.  And gentlemen, I don’t want to see your hairy chests anymore - put your shirts back on.  If you feel you must tell the world about your nipples, you might consider one of our newest shirts.  Ladies, this is purely optional.  However, there still may be certain situations during which the nipples might need to be wrapped up - your Aunt Beatrice’s funeral, for example. Can’t have the bewbage just flopping around now, can we?  Fear not, you can still inform everyone of your current nipple mood!   Just pick up an  “I Have Happy Nipples” shirt and you’re good to go.

I Have Happy Nipples Controversial and offensive t-shirt